this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
