I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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