she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
