Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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