dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
