I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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