She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
