Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im holly from the hills drunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
