After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
