But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
