can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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