I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize