He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
