so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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