i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
