glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
