there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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