Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
