you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
