i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
