you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
