Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
