Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize