She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
