I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
