HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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