I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
