so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
