Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My penis needs a shock collar
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
