the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
barbara walters just said penis...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
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