The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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