I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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