Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
