do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
