It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just google imaged poop.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
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Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize