As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
