Just fell off a train. Bad.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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