Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
