Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
