i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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