No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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