go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize