The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Found your dick twin last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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