I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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