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Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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