We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
