I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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