I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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