somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
