So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
