anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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