She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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