Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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