so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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