Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My room smells like vodka and shame
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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