dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My dick has a subreddit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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