oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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